Girls Have Cooties
by IceCreamAndPizza
Summary: When Ash agreed to secretly date Misty, he never imagined a disease he can't even pronounce could ruin everything. So when he falls ill and gets his diagnosis, Dawn and Brock aren't fooled. Not even his ignorance can save him now. One Shot-AAML


_Girls Have Cooties_

It had taken her a while, but after navigating her way through the crowd of people, she had finally found him. He, like her, had escaped out of the smothering crowd of people to the back porch. He was sitting on the bottom steps with his back facing her, looking at the stars. For unknown reasons, Pikachu wasn't with him. As quietly as she could she shut the screen door.

"You're much harder to find than I thought," she teased him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Maybe I should get some advice from Team Rocket."

"Hey, Misty," he greeted her as he turned toward her and laughed a bit. "Yeah… I came out here to get some fresh air."

"I figured." Pulling away her arms, she sat down next to him. She looked out toward the sky before she suddenly remembered the main reason she had come out here. "By the way, happy 17th birthday, Mr. Pokemon Master."

"Ha, thanks," he chuckled, amused by the familiar nickname.

He wasn't a Pokemon Master quite yet, but it didn't stop her from calling him that. At first he had found it annoying, as she only used it as a way to mock the fact he was far from reaching his dream. Along the way, though, he had began to enjoy it more because it had become more of a friendly nickname that had a hidden meaning behind it. That every time she called him that, it just showed how she had confidence in him that one day he would achieve his dream. He could only wonder if when he did achieve his dream, would she still call him that?

"You know," he finally spoke up after a few seconds, "today isn't just my birthday?"

Of course she knew that. While she did care about his birthday, it was the other event that happened on this day that was closer to her heart. It marked the day that she had first met him; a day when her fishing mistake would began to blossom into a long-term friendship.

"Yep," she agreed. Flashing him a smirk she added, "It's also the day you stole my bike."

Lowering his head dejectedly, he sighed in annoyance. Seven years later, true to her word, she wouldn't let him forget about the bike. "I guess you could look at it that way… "

"It's okay," she told him, much to his surprise. And after all these years, it was. She was glad he had come crashing into her life and had destroyed her bike. She was glad she had vowed to follow him until he paid her back. She had gotten the adventure she had always wanted and the friends she never had before. Plus, she had started to develop feelings for him. "I got something even better out of it."

"Hmm? What's that?' he asked rather absentmindedly.

Instead of answering his question, she grabbed his arm and lightly tugged him closer to her. When he finally turned to face her, she leaned in a bit and met him halfway.

Pulling away, Ash intertwined his fingers with hers. "Follow me," he whispered, his warm breath tickling her ear.

"Okay," she giggled in reply before standing up. Gripping his hand tight, she let him pull her along.

OOOO

"Thanks for coming, Misty." Her and Ash were standing in the hallway, as she got ready to head back to Cerulean. "It was really great to see you. I really miss you when I'm traveling."

"I sure hope so," she teased, lightly punching his elbow. "I'm your girlfriend after all."

He couldn't help but smile at this. It was something he never thought would happen, but it had. Just days before his party, Misty had arrived earlier so she could spend some time with him, Brock and Dawn before everyone else arrived. One night while Dawn and Brock were asleep, they had stayed up late just talking about what the other had been up to. He couldn't exactly remember how, but their discussion had somehow led her to revealing her feelings for him. It wasn't exactly love, but it was definitely something more than friendship. The night had ended with them sharing their first kiss before they went to bed, both of them agreeing not to say anything to their friends yet.

"When are we going to tell them?" Misty asked. "Brock's going to kill us if he doesn't find out soon."

"I know," Ash sighed. He had to tell his friends, but them not knowing had been something of a blessing these past three days. Granted he and Misty had to be sneaky about when and where they decided to be together-It always ended too quickly, too-but it was nice not having his friends gush and fawn over his relationship with Misty. "Next time we see each other. For now it can just be out little secret, okay?"

"Alright," she replied. After looking around the room for any signs of somebody coming, Misty wrapped her arms around Ash's neck and shared one final kiss with him. Like most of the others, it didn't last very long, and it took more effort than she would have liked to admit to pull away. "You'll call, right?"

"Of course," he nodded.

Giving her one last hug, he reluctantly let her go and watched as she walked out the door.

OOOO

_5 weeks later_

"This isn't like Ash at all," Dawn observed as she and Brock stood next to Ash's bed. After returning from lunch, Ash had announced that he wanted to take a nap and had proceeded to pass out after collapsing onto his bed. "He's been sleeping practically all day for the past four days."

"You may be onto something," Brock concurred, scratching his chin in contemplation. Ash had been acting rather odd the past few days. He requested they rest more, he had complained about a sore throat, and he hadn't been eating as much as he normally did. Plus, the other day Ash had complained that he was too tired to battle for his badge. (That should have been Brock's first sign that something was up.) "I think we should take him to see Nurse Joy."

"Agreed," Dawn nodded.

If they didn't figure out what was wrong with Ash, they would never get past the city they were in. Plus, if he was sick, she wanted to know so he could be treated before he passed the infection on to her. After all, she was around him most of the day.

Later that evening after Ash had finally woken up, Brock and Dawn had dragged him to see Nurse Joy against his will. Being the stubborn person he was, he had tried to convince them that he was fine, and that it was just a simply virus that would pass by. They weren't hearing it, though, insisting Nurse Joy look over him now, if only to prevent them for possibly getting sick. Since it was his appointment, though, Brock and Dawn headed back to their room to wait until Ash returned.

"What do you think he has?" Dawn asked. She had been trying to figure it out, but she couldn't come up with an answer.

"It's probably some variation of the flu," Brock suggested. Having to take care of his brothers and sisters for so long, he had learned over time how to notice symptoms for various illnesses. "When I checked his temperature the other day, it was pretty high, and, he wouldn't admit it, but I definitely saw him shivering yesterday. It wasn't very cold either, so it had to be the chills."

"Great," Dawn groaned, falling back onto her bed. "Now I'm going to get sick. I can't be sick with a contest coming up."

"I wouldn't worry too much. I think we caught it pretty early, so once Ash gets some medicine, he should be okay. In the meantime, just take really good care of your health and don't touch anything he does."

"I guess," she sighed, rolling over to try and get comfortable. The beds weren't very comfortable, and waiting to find out what was wrong with Ash only agitated her more.

Just as Brock was about to say something, they heard the shuffling of footsteps as Ash opened the door and entered the room. He looked worn down and even worse than before, but it was his Pikachu who caught Brock's attention. Despite having been worried about Ash's sudden change before they came to the doctors, Pikachu had a tiny smug grin on his face and he laughed quietly to himself every now and then.

"I'm going back to bed. I'm exhausted and my throat is killing me," Ash complained.

"Exhausted? But you just slept for two hours before we came here!" Dawn protested, shooting up from her position on the bed. Too tired to care, Ash collapsed onto his bed and curled up under the covers. "I think you've officially tied with a Snorlax in most hours spent sleeping."

"What did Nurse Joy say?" Brock asked.

Sticking his hand into his jean pocket, Ash pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper. Unfolding it, he used all of his remaining energy to try and figure out the scientific term written on it. "She said I have something called Mononu-mononucla-cle…Oh, this is too hard to read! You read it, Brock," he shouted in frustration, giving up on reading the paper as he flung it toward Brock.

"Mononucleosis?" Brock replied, trying to guess what Ash had attempted to say. Dawn gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth as she tried to hold back the laughter that was rising in her. Brock grabbed the paper off the floor to double check that his prognosis was correct. As he glanced over the paper, his eyebrows rose in shock. "Yep. You definitely caught Mononucleosis, Ash."

"What's that? Some kind of Pokemon that makes you sick?"

Dawn just slapped her hand against her face and led it slide down. Ash's density amazed her sometimes. This was one of those instances.

"No Ash. It's a virus you can get through sharing a drink or food with someone who is infected," she explained to Ash. Ash just shrugged, not really caring how he got it. He just wanted to know how to cure it. Dawn wasn't finished, though. "Or," she added, lifting her finger as if to tell him to wait, "you can get it through kissing, giving it the name of the –she couldn't help but giggle at this point-kissing disease."

Ash felt his body freeze, as his heart started rapidly beating. He could also feel the little beads of sweat collecting on his forehead and the sides of his face. "Ki-kiss-sing disease?" he stuttered through his shock.

"She's right," Brock confirmed. "But there's no way you could have gotten it that way, right?'

"Right!" He quickly answered. "I probably just got it from sharing a drink with someone."

"I don't know," Dawn spoke up, resting her hands on her hips. Walking up to Ash, she stopped right in front of him and eyed him suspiciously. "It makes more sense if you got it from one of us, but I've never had mono, I don't have a boyfriend, and I haven't been swapping spit with anyone, especially you."

"I've never had it either," Brock chimed in.

Dawn flicked her eyes over to Brock for a second before resting them back on Ash. "See? Brock's never had it, and we all know he's not kissing anyone because he can't get a girlfriend-"

"I resent that remark!" Brock snapped, furrowing his brow in anger. "That was a low blow, Dawn."

"Anyways," Dawn cut him off, increasing the volume of her voice, "like I said, neither Brock or I have had it, nor do we have a chance of having it. Plus, you eat your food and drink your drinks so fast nobody has anytime to share food with you." Her stern face morphed into an evil smirk as she lightly poked Ash in the chest. "There's only way you got that disease Ash, and it wasn't from us."

Ash felt himself gulp in fear. He was busted. How could he lie to them to get them off his trail? He had promised Misty they wouldn't say anything until they saw each other again. If Brock and Dawn found out, they would freak out and swarm him with questions. If he had known this disease existed, he would have thought twice before spending so much time kissing Misty.

"We're waiting," Dawn said in a singsong voice. Her eyes never left his face.

"Come on Dawn," Ash tried to argue. "Girls are disgusting and they have cooties. Why would I ever want to kiss one?"

"You're right, Ash. Girls do have cooties, and it's called Mono!" Dawn laughed. "I guess they weren't as disgusting as you thought."

"We can find out if your lying, Ash," Brock told him, even though what he was about to tell Ash was completely fake. "They have these machines now that can tell you who you got a disease from and how you got it."

"What?" Ash gasped, just as Brock had anticipated. "How? That can't be true!"

"It's true," Dawn confirmed, catching onto Brock's plan. "So, if you're lying to us, that machine will tell us the truth."

"I-I…" Ash tried to say, but the words were caught in his throat. He couldn't lie to them! They would use that machine to find out the truth. "Fine," he sighed, finally giving in to their pressuring. "I probably got it from Misty."

"And how did you get it from Misty?" Brock asked, although it was obvious what the answer to the question was. He was just enjoying watching Ash suffer too much.

"I kissed her," Ash replied, muffling the words into his pillow.

"What?" Dawn asked. "I can't hear you, Ash. You should speak up."

"I kissed her! Okay! You happy?" he yelled at them. Sitting up, he used his remaining energy to give them the entire truth as loud as his body would allow him. "We're dating and we kissed! I got Mono because I kissed Misty!"

"At least it's not an STD," Brock shrugged, while Dawn gaped at Brock in shock. Had he really just said that?

"An ST-what?" Ash asked.

"Nothing," Brock quickly replied, refusing to answer Ash's question.

A silence fell upon the room as Ash sat there, taking in everything they had said. Suddenly, thinking back to what Dawn had said about the disease, he felt himself panic a bit. "Hey guys, you don't think Misty got the disease from kissing some other guy do you?"

"It's biologically possible, but I doubt it happened," Brock replied. "She probably got it form sharing a drink with one of her sister's who had it. You know how they are."

"Yeah...you're probably right." Why was it that Misty's sisters seemed to ruin everything for him? "Can I just go back to sleep?"

"Yeah, yeah. We'll leave you alone," Brock signed in disappointment, the fun and games of getting Ash to reveal the truth now over. Standing up, he set the paper he was holding on the desk. "Come on, Dawn. Ash needs his rest. Plus, we have to call Misty and congratulate her."

As much as he wanted to stop them from telling Misty, Ash physically had no energy to put up a fight. His body was drained. They had won and he hated it. Instead, he would just try to enjoy the fact that Brock and Dawn were finally leaving and that he could rest. Pulling the covers over himself, Ash tried to get comfortable. He hated being sick, and with an illness as crappy as this, the sooner he recovered, the sooner he could be back on the road earning badges.

"Oh, Ash?" Dawn called just before she followed Brock out the door. Although he could hear her, Ash didn't even try to raise his head. "By the way, there's no such machine that can tell you who you got a disease form and how you got it."

As he heard the door close, Ash groaned in anger as Pikachu giggled beside him. He had been tricked! They had used his lack of knowledge against him! If he hadn't fallen for their evil trick, they may have never found out about him and Misty. Now they were going to tell her they knew, and after he finally recovered from this stupid illness, he would have to deal with even more pain when Misty beat him up for being dense and letting Dawn and Brock trick him. Having a girlfriend was nothing like he had expected. Now he was experiencing his childhood nightmare: he had gotten cooties and from a girl! He knew he should have just stuck with his gut feelings as a kid. Darn puberty.

* * *

**_If it's not too much trouble, could you let me know if there's anything you think I should change about this one shot? I just feel like something's missing... Then again, I've been known to over complicate things. Anyways, just tell me what you think if it's not too much trouble. Thanks!_**


End file.
